Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
