I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
