Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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