Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I want a musical about memes.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
