apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize