You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm too high and old for this...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
