Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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