your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize