This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
