You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
