Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
