Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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