I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
