Ketchup is God's man juice
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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