bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
