if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
