Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
