I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
