No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
