Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize