i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
