3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
