He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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