she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Panties = found
Randomize