I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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