Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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