he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
