It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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