Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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