You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I smell stomach acid.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
