remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
