So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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