Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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