We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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