Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
