he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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