I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize