was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
