what day is it and did you see me today?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
