she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
