He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize