is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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