My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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