I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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