So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
