I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
