what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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