And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
