If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
