Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
