There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
