Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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