If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
