i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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