remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
