3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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