just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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