butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
