my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
