I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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