It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize