i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
apparently the secret to your success is patron
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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