I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
