I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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