awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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