Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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